There just doesn't seem to be very many 'normal' garments
for a guy my size. Sure, I can wear a suit, but that just makes me look like a Wall
Street banker...but now those guys are slim too. Who ever heard of skinny fat
cats? So, why do fat guys get all the loud clothes? Doesn't someone get the
fact that we don't need an additional channel to draw attention to ourselves?
Our gut has that covered. Now somebody DID think of this and they started
making camouflage stuff big enough for me, but honestly. But honestly, how often do fat guys
hang out outside? Especially, when it is hot.
If you want to make
me happy make me a shirt that makes it look like I actually have a waist. Is that
too much to ask? Look, large ladies get all kinds of help trying to 'minimize'.
The clothing industry has embraced them...to a certain point. Unfortunately for men, manufacturers
seem to be content with metaphorically laughing and pointing, saying "ha
ha, look at the fat guy in the funny shirt."
Not being familiar
with the garment industry, perhaps I am unaware of some materialy related reason
for using ugly prints. I have noticed that once a lady reaches the diameter requiring
a muumuu, the prints available to them also degenerate into the realm of clown vomit.
I always chalked it up to the cultural origins of the muumuu, but maybe not.
This is a plea from a
fat guy with understated taste in clothes. Please make me a shirt that doesn't
look like a snow-cone acid trip.